Check-In Chicken Dinner: Prioritizing Self-Care, Reflection, and Mental Well-being

Welcome back!! In today's episode, Check in Chicken Dinner, your hosts Alina Gutierrez and Taylor Dini dive deep into the power of words and affirmations. They discuss the delicate balance between sincere compliments and excessive praise, sharing their personal preferences when it comes to receiving validation. 

Vulnerability and the importance of feeling understood are also explored, as they discuss inner child healing and the impact of abandonment wounds on relationships. Fear of being left and the need to remain open to love are touched upon, reminding us of our own worthiness. 

But that's not all. Alina and Taylor introduce a new concept called "check in chicken dinner," a practice of checking in with ourselves and loved ones. They delve into the habit of automatically responding with "I'm fine" when asked about our well-being, and why it's crucial to truly reflect on how we're doing. 

Journaling is highlighted as a therapeutic practice for checking in and relieving stress, with Alina recommending the practice of "morning pages." The hosts also take a deep dive into the therapeutic benefits of a clean and organized environment, discussing the relationship between internal and external clutter and the power of creating flow in our homes. 

They remind us of the importance of staying focused on our own journeys and not letting outside opinions influence our path to success. Throughout the episode, Alina and Taylor share personal anecdotes, moments of reflection, and humorous exchanges that will leave you feeling understood, inspired, and grateful. Grab your headphones and get ready for an episode that will make you rethink the importance of self-care. 

Let's dive in!

With love,
A + T

Follow us on social media to stay up to date with us :)
@shitjustgotrealpodcast
@taylordini
@alinaa.gutierrez

Transcript

0:11

Welcome back, you guys. Welcome back, Taylor and Alina. And this is. Shit just got real. I'm about to get right into it without even today, we wanted to keep it light hearted. We were talking about how we felt. We had lots of heavy vibes lately and we wanted to lighten up, lighten up the mood, think about the things we're grateful for, what makes us happy. And something I think that we're going to start doing is this. We're calling it check and chicken dinner, where we kind of check in with each other. I'm sorry, that name, I like it. Yeah, okay. It has a ring to it. Yeah, I know. But people are just like, why that? Well, at least that's what goes in my head. Whatever. Go ahead, keep going. A lot of things go through people's. Heads that I say anyway. Yeah, I know. But I guess the gist of what this check in chicken dinner is, is checking in with each other. I know, with our friends, our loved ones, we always talk about what we're up to, what's happening in our lives, but we don't always really check in and check in with ourselves to see if we're really happy, if something's really hurting us right now or if something's on our minds. And I think we can release a lot of this unneeded weight that we hold. Yeah. When we do that, just kind of like acknowledging everything that we're feeling at our core. Yeah. I think when we were talking about this topic and how we wanted the conversation to go, something that me and Taylor were saying is we have this tendency and habit of asking people, how are they doing? And then our immediate response that we're fine. And I think we want to put a little bit more intention behind that question with this episode of like, well, am I okay? And I think that's the whole point of just doing this daily check in, whether it's once a month or every two months. But, I mean, this is going to be a part of the dialogue now, just to check in with ourselves and with each other and hopefully inspire you guys to check in and truly check in with yourselves. Yeah. And there's nothing wrong. I think that it's more of a greeting. A lot of the time when someone's like, hey, how are you doing? And when you run into someone, you're like, oh, I'm good. But I do feel like that automated response sometimes, at least with me, if I'm in a really stressful time or whatever, I don't second guess whether or not I'm going to say I'm good. But sometimes I leave saying that, like, well, you start to think, like, am I good? Or you start to think of all the things that are stressing you, and you're like, yes, everything's good when in your head you're like, but this and this and this and this and this. Yeah. So I think it's important to lean on those people and reach out to those people that are in your life to kind of dive in deeper and really ask yourself the question, like, are you good? And really ask those people you care about as well. Because sometimes we're not good and we don't even realize it until we ask ourselves. Yeah, no, I agree. I think building like a habit, a holistic practice around that of checking in with yourself is super important. And honestly, you could do this in a multitude of ways. I think journaling is one of the most therapeutic things that people can do for themselves. It's crazy because I was reading this book and it was talking to you. Read a book. That is so crazy. You're so annoying. Anyway, I was reading this book, and it was telling me that one of the daily practices that I was supposed to do is it's called morning pages. And essentially, it's just a brain dump of everything that's going on in your head as soon as you wake up. And it's the first thing that you do before. I love that. Before your coffee, before you eat breakfast, go for a walk, whatever. So basically, you do three pages of everything that comes to your mind, and it doesn't have to make sense. It's just you're streaming everything from your head down to paper. And what I noticed is when I was doing that for a week straight, my mind felt so empty. It was the craziest thing. I'm like, oh, my God, that actually works. And hoNestly, I think the idea of getting it on paper and out of your head avoids you constantly thinking about the same thing over and over and over and over. And then that also causes for you to be way more present. And I was like, wow, it's so weird that I put it down on paper and I just stopped thinking about that and it felt so good. I think something I do because I have ADHD and I'm like, I'm constantly, when I'm moving throughout my day, I'm like, oh, my gosh, and I have to do this. Oh, I forgot about this. And that's something I use with having for things that I have to do, but I've never used it in things that are on my mind. I get the same relief for when I sit down and I write every single thing that I have to do, whether it's text this person, call this person. Because, yeah, I think if you're that. Type of personality where you thrive on lists and checking things off, it works in the same way except with all of the thoughts that are just like super in your head and they're repetitive and it's like you put it on paper and then it just stops. It really is a brain dump though. Because it's literally a brain dump every morning. Whatever what I do with that, it's not even a list that I make. It's like I put it all out there and then I make my schedule or then I make my list. Yeah, but it's like every little thing and it's such a relief. And I'm sure it's a relief for anybody. But I know with like, if you have ADHD, it's kind of like I'm a horrible texter, but it's not on purpose. Oh my God. But when I wake up in the morning and I think about all the things I have to do, I'll be driving in the car and I'll be like, oh shoot, that person texted me or called me a week ago and I never called them back. So that's something that I would put in my big dump of things to do is text this person about this because otherwise I will forget. And it's like you get to take all that. It's like a weight that's lifted off. Oh my God. Excited to do that? Yes. It was so cool because after a week of doing that, I actually started to struggle on the eigth and 9th day of like, what the fuck am I going to write for three pages? There's nothing in my head anymore. Which is like the cool. It's cool obviously because you're in a more calm space mentally, but then it's like, well, shit, what do I write about? So then I stopped doing it every single day and instead what I was doing is every time that I felt like I had the same thought over and over and over, that is when I would be like, okay, now I'm going to do this, I'm going to be intentional with it and now I'm going to streamline those three pages and then hopefully it just stops. And it's been working that way for me. Yeah, that's interesting. You make room for a lot of other things to come to your head too, which is crazy. Two things to go off that, because before we started, I was explaining to Alina, because we're bouncing ideas off each other, what we wanted to talk about was the check and chicken dinner. And you were kind of like, yeah, it's kind of just like you're journaling in a conversation out loud. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I didn't even think about it like that. But one of the notes that I put in here is letting go of unnecessary weight, which is a perfect way to do it, is what you just said. And it's like when you have all those things in your mind, your thoughts, and your day is super cloudy because your brain is clouded because it doesn't have room for what it needs to. And it's like you can have the brightest day or the brightest path ahead of you, but you're never going to see it when your brain is so clouded in your mind. So, like, getting all that out. Yeah. Recognize. Yeah, that's so true. I think I noticed that specifically hits me, and I notice it comes when I'm creatively blocked. So when I'm creatively blocked, I know that I need to actually sit in stillness and journal everything that's going on in my head because I'm so overwhelmed. And then I need to go do, like, a yoga class or something. And then as soon as everything is done with that, I can actually attack that to do list. It's like this paralyzing feeling of, like, I have so many things to do and I can't get it done. But then once I do the journaling, the meditation, the yoga, I'm like, oh, I have the fuel for it now. Start. Yeah. It's funny how direct, how intrinsically related those things are. Like, your inside and you're outside, too. Because I know for me, I could have 80 things for work that I have to do, but if my home is a mess, I'm like, I can't focus my work until my space needs to be clean. Yeah. And it's the same thing inwardly where your mind, your heart, that has to be cleared. Or did you know that organized. And then now you can attack things. What? Yeah. Did you know that the way that your environment is on the outside is a direct reflection of what your internal and your mindset is? I heard that, like, when your mind's a mess, your environment is a mess. Yeah. It's so interesting. A lot of people have no idea. So it's kind of like, if you ever think that you don't have a lot going on, but your environment, like, everything is everywhere. That's kind of a direct reflection of, like, no, there is a lot going inside. So figure it out. Take a step to like. And a lot of times people are like, how does that relate? If I'm happy and I'm doing things, but a lot of times, it could just relate in the way that you're so busy and now this mess is accumulating, but your mind's busy, your house is busy. And it's funny, though, because I know in the last week, I've been talking every day about how my room is filled with three weeks of laundry, but my entire home was clean. But my room and my safe space was ironically, but not that ironically, a disaster. I finally was getting to it last night, and it's therapeutic, clearing it out. It's funny, I literally deep cleaned my apartment last night. It's therapeutic. It was so beautiful. It's the same therapeutic response is when you can clear your mind out. Speaking of that, though, something I learned on TikTok, which is what I did last night, is, before you go to bEd, do a closing shift of your entire space. And for anyone that's ever worked in hospitality, you know that you have closing shift duties. So it's like you roll silverware, you clean tables, XYZ, whatever. So you do that at home before you go to sleep. You put your laundry away, you clean your bathroom like you put away all the dishes, so that when you wake up, you wake up feeling so refreshed, because everything is neat and clean and tidy, and you can just get on with your day and do everything that you need to do. All that stuff's done. That's one of my favorite things, is, like, at the end of the day, when I wipe my counters down, and then I start my dishwasher, I go up to bed, and I can hear the dishwasher starting, and I can sew my countertop cleaning. You're like, that's therapeutic for you. Wow. But I never looked at it that way. And when I saw the TikTok, I was like, wow, that's actually a really good idea. And it's not always easy, because especially with. I don't want to do it every day, that's for sure. And I have my days where I'm exhausted, and it took my kid 2 hours to fall asleep, and all I want to do is get in my bed. And there are days where I'm like, effort, I'm going to let this be a mess and accept that it is a mess tonight. And I will deal with it tomorrow. And then I wake up and I'm like, roll my sleeves up. I'm like, okay, here we go. Yeah, but it's important not to let that stuff sit because I think those are. Well, those are also things that there's energy stored in all of that, too, where I've seen where it's like when you have piles of clothes and you just let it all sit there, start to move things around, to let energy flow out of your space, and then you invite new energy and motivation to get the things done that you have. To get done moving. Okay. Another thing I put is time is different than energy. And this is something that I've kind of been hearing a lot about lately, and it really has resonated with me. And I think another fueling factor behind why we want to do this check in chicken dinner is because we give a lot of time to one another and the people that we care about, and we hang out and we do things. But it's just as important, if not more important, that we give energy to those people when we have that time with them. Yeah, because you could be spending time with someone and be literally at a 20% of energy, and it's like, what's the point in even spending time with them? Like a quality time type of thing. There's a reason why you could see someone every day and feel far from. Them, but you could see someone once a month and feel super close to them. And it's about putting in the energy when you have the time. And I think that's really important, and that's something I've learned, too, is like, focus on not going through the motions. Or I think when you're spending, you want it to be quality time. And I think quality time is putting in that energy. Or, like, when I come home from work and I'm exhausted and my kid's running around and he wants me to play with him, or he's following me around the kitchen, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, he's being a stage five clinger. But that, to me, is a reminder of, he needs my energy right now. I'm doing all these things, and we're here, just us together. But he needs me to give him my energy and be there with him, do something with him. It's being present. That's what he wants from you. Yeah, that's interesting. Presence is like, whatever. Presence over present, giving your energy, not just your time. I think that's important. I guess we could start off with the questions of, are you happy okay. You want to go first or me go first? Are you happy, Onya? So when she originally asked me this question, I started laughing. I started laughing, and I was like, well, that's actually a very complex question. And I think there are, like, right now doing what we're doing 1000%. I am so happy, very happy, very grateful. And I think that there are certain areas of my life where I'm definitely not happy. And I do think that that's normal and that's okay. But I think for the majority of my life, I do think that I'm happy with it. I'm surrounded by really good people. I feel like I've done a lot of deep work lately, and I think that brings me happiness. I love my family. Like, my family is incredible. I think how I kind of look at that question is, I think it's not surprising when you ask that question, someone's like, well, I love my job. I love my family. This is going well. But I don't always know that they correlate. I think you could be sad even though everything in your life is going well. So when I think of that question, I kind of am like, okay, well, what's your baseline? Where's your baseline at? And that's kind of what I have to ask myself with that question, especially because I've gone through depression, like, a handful of times, and it's hard to get through that. And I guess when I was depressed, I realized I can still experience joy and I can still laugh and I can still have fun and I still have a great job, and I still love my family and they love me and they're supportive and I have friends and all of that going for me. But my baseline is sad. So even though these things make me happy, my baseline was sad, and it was hard for me to, I guess, recognize that. So now I look at my life and, you know, you see my life. You're in my life. And the last two weeks have been very stressful, and there's been a lot of things that I've been dealing with, and I've been spread with a lot on my plate and dealing with things in relationships or emotionally or work wise, but my baseline is happy. So I would say I'm very happy right now, even though I have a lot of these things right now that are hard. Yeah. And I feel like, obviously, it's also dependent on when you ask yourself that question, because if you asked me that question Friday, I would have probably said the complete opposite because of everything that's going on. Around us in the world. And I think that's also important to kind of recognize that it's definitely dependent on when that question is being asked of you again right now, 1000% I am happy, very grateful. But there are definitely certain areas of. I think it's mainly career wise. Career wise, 1000%. I don't feel like I'm in a space where I thought I would be by now. However, at the same time, I think that everything happens when it needs to happen, so there's no rush. Yeah. So it's like bringing myself back to that. Like, everything's going to happen how it needs to happen. There's no timeline, I guess, too, because I'm seeing you break apart to different areas of happiness, but as a whole. As a whole, yeah, I'm happy. Okay. I could say that. But see, that's why I was like, that's a complex question. I know, but I'm putting it into categories. I know. And you're asking me more as a whole. Yeah, I think that's how you should look at it. Like, are you as a whole in your life? Are you happy? Yeah. Good. Me too. Because I'm like you, I know what it's like to be depressed. I'm definitely nowhere near that. I know. Nowhere near. I feel like there are words with many meetings, because I feel like right now, where we're at, I could have everything going to shit in my life, but I could still be happy. That's my baseline. So I think it's important to acknowledge that and really ask yourself that question, are you happy at home or listening to this podcast? Are you really happy? It doesn't matter what's going good or what's going bad, and it's important to acknowledge and think about those things. But ask yourself if you're happy, and if you're not, what can you do? Can I use. What can we do about it? Who can you talk to? I like this. It's a nice little check in. And I think with that, too, is something I added was what is a weight that you're holding on to right now that you want to let go of? And I think sometimes when, like Alina was talking about earlier, when she does that brain dump in the morning, I think that sometimes we feel a weight or like some sort of pressure, and it's like an itch in your back that you can't scratch and you want to let go of it. But when your brain is so clouded, it's hard to let go of something when you can't identify the source. So I think it's important to do those brain dumps. Ask yourself those questions and say, what am I holding right now? What weight am I bearing that I want to let go of? And then how can I work through letting that go? And sometimes it's as simple as writing it all out or talking to someone about it. I think people really do underestimate journaling in itself. And it might feel silly and weird at first to do, but, man, when you feel that weight lifted off of your shoulders, because it really is a weight. It's all weight that you hold inside of your mind once you put it on paper, it's just like, wow, I can breathe again. I can think clearly. I can be more present, and I think that's incredible. You're like the universe. Take it away. Take it. For me, it's like a symbolic thing, but again, there's energy in that process, and you're releasing and relieving yourself of that energy by doing it. Yeah, I love that. How are you feeling physically and emotionally? Are you asking me? Yeah. Exhausted. Okay. But I think we kind of talked about that a little bit the other day, too, is like, when you're around people and they're draining your energy, it makes you more physically tired. And I think that I'm exhausted for having a lack of rest and lack of sleep. And I think that it's now been tenfold recently because it's a combination of being physically tired and then being mentally and, like, my energy drained tired, but that I feel, like, intrinsically correlates to becoming physically tired. So I've just been white. Yeah. And I think when you're really white and just exhausted like that, you're more emotional and you think less rationally, you're more irritable. And I've noticed that with myself where I'm like, I'm angry, but then something stupid could make me angry. But anger, like, you almost want to cry, but I know that's a trigger for me where I'm like, oh, my God, I need to take a nap. I need to go lay down. No, what you actually needed was for you to cry. Yeah, well, yes, and I needed a nap. Friday, after we recorded the podcast, I literally forced myself to cry because I'm like, it was like, I have to. It's another form of releasing, just like, in the same way where you're writing down all your thoughts and releasing that type of energy. Crying is a form of releasing all that energy. Well, literally, that needs to flow out. Of you, release endorphins when you cry, there you go. Like scientifically if you want to do that. But yeah, I definitely think it's a combo. And so now this week is like tying up all my loose ends and I have one more tired week. I talk to some people and they're like, well, don't look at it like that. But I'm like, no, I've already planned and prepared. I know what I have on my plate this week and I know it's going to exhaust me, but I know at the end of this I'm going to get my rest. So I'm not in denial of what my week is going to look like and be like, oh, I'm going to sunshine and butter 8 hours to 10 hours of sleep a night. I know I'm not. And nobody's going to not be tired if they're not sleeping. So I've accepted what this week looks like and I'm excited and I'm looking forward to rest, but I already feel like, yeah, I'm tired, but I feel better. Okay, good. Yeah, little steps. Baby steps for sure. But again, even with all that going on, my baseline is still happy. It's like different, like a change. And I feel like that too. Just with the podcast, the energy is different. Yeah, I love this. This makes me happy. Me too. I noticed, too, in the beginning when you were talking, we are at a different place mentally with how we deal with when we're feeling clouded or overwhelmed. Whereas before, when we were feeling those things and not letting them out or not releasing ourselves of that weight, it was like we didn't have the energy to do this. Yeah, but now when we're letting go of those things, we maintain the energy to do not. Yeah, it's funny that you say that because I'm not going to lie. Before we decided to record, I was literally lying on Taylor's floor. Oh, I know. I was lying on your floor. And in my head literally just like full plank. Because I was like, this is my mood right now. And I felt that way because we were trying to figure out the direction of today's topic and just figuring out some other stuff that whatever, we'll say that for another day. And in my head I'm thinking, motherfuck, are we back at square one where we're not about to record and we are hitting a hurdle and we're going to have to push this episode back. And then I realize, I'm like, no, it's just a little hiccup. It's fine. It's going to be okay. I think we can. And we really are such. We are in a very different mental. Space now, but think about how our balance is now. Like, our exchange of energy with each other is different, where if I was. Down, you were down. Yes. And I felt you overwhelmed. And then she goes, well, I'm feeling sort of overwhelmed about where another episode we record is going to go, what are we going to record? I was like, okay, well, let's just cut the episode up, take out everything we don't like, and then we'll find a common idea of what the episode's about. Yeah. And then Lena was like, okay. And then Alina starts brainstorming ideas. Well, we could talk about this or we could talk about that. And it was like we were able to balance each other again instead of. Matching energy here, which we're not doing anymore. It's like if one of us is down, one of us is going to pick the other one up. Whereas before we were to match energy and we would both stay down. It's different. It's so different. Realizing that right now about how it was so thoughtless of how we're like. Yeah, that's true, too. It was like second nature. Look at that. And it wasn't even anything where it's like you're trying to motivate the other person. It's just like, oh, she has a problem. Let me show you a solution. Yeah, it was so second nature. I love that we did that. I like this question. Am I setting aside enough time for self care and relaxation? If not, what adjustments can I make? I think you should go first for this one. That's hard. And I think this is why I want you to go first, because I know it's harder for you to make that time, especially with Dao. I just think when I am, I think I understand the importance of self care and relaxation, but on my list of priorities, it often finds itself at the bottom, and that's typically the first thing I neglect. And then I neglect sleep following that. So I'm definitely not setting enough time aside for it. But if not, what adjustments can I make? I guess when I'm going, going, honestly. No, I think you're not giving yourself enough credit here. I think when you think of self care and relaxation, your first instinct is to like, oh, did I take like a bubble bath today or those things? Or did I go to the spa? You know what I'm saying? Like those types of services, I guess. Yeah. But you know where you are, you're taking really good care of yourself. And you said this

earlier, you're like, I have a 10: 28:00

30 a.m. Therapy appointment tomorrow. That is self care. Well, I'm prioritizing my mental health through everything that I'm going through, even when I am prioritizing that. Yeah. And I think that is the most important part of self care that we don't emphasize enough as a whole. I guess what I was thinking of is rest. See, because I haven't been resting. I haven't been taking even an hour to sit on the couch and watch a show. Okay. I haven't been still, but I'm aware of that. And I think sometimes when you feel the pressure, especially as a single parent who's the provider for your family, let's just say sometimes you feel the pressure of when you get hit with, for example, October, there was a lot of expenses. So I'm like, oh, I have to pay for three months of school up front. My kid had to go to the emergency room, and that was two grand. I have to pay all my taxes, and then I have to find his new school and put the down payment on that. And I just got a new car, and things are wrong with the hOuse, things like that. Then I'm like, oh, my gosh. My brain instantly goes to solution. Work, work. But I put too much work on my plate because it was coming from a reactive place and at like an intentional place. And then I found myself all through October having too much on my plate. But I've already signed up for it. I'm not going to not do it now. So now I'm living out kind of the side effects of those decisions that I made reactively. But I've thought through that. And now the last two weeks, I've been like, two more weeks, week and a half left. One more week, half a week left until I'm at that place where, and I handled it differently because I made my schedule for the next two following weeks now. And I'm at a place where I'm like, I have it handled. Before I reacted like I made a plan for where you're so overwhelmed that. You react from that place versus where you're level headed. Yes. Okay. Where I'm like, I'm not reacting, overwhelmed. Even though there's a lot. Like, I took it piece by piece. So now I'm intentionally planning time where I'm able to rest in the next couple of weeks. So I guess that's how I'm making adjustments. But as far as the physical self care, that's something I'm fine with putting off for a little while longer. Like skincare. I need to do better at. I'll make an adjustment for that. It's so funny that that's, like, where our mind goes when it comes to self care, and I think that there's so many different forms of it, but. That is still a form of it that I prioritize self care. Like, I feel better doing those things. I haven't got my nails done in the last nine months. Oh, wow. So that's something. That's me time. Yeah. I haven't gotten a haircut or colored in over a year because I haven't had the time to be able to take that amount of time out to go do it. But I'm okay with that. Yeah. I've been faced with that decision. Okay, do I want to go take a nap or get my nails done? And I'm like, my ass is going to take a nap, I guess. Yeah. No, I'm not setting enough time aside for it. I'm setting aside time for certain things. I'm not neglecting my mental health. I've been communicating more than I ever have, I think, through a stressful time, and I'm still going to therapy and talking to people and doing that through all of it. But there are certain things that I'm making adjustments for. What about you? Okay. I like that. It's funny because me and you are the opposite right now, where I understand the importance and the value that comes from going to therapy. Sorry. Knocked the mic. Oh, did you? Thanks. I understand the importance and the value that comes with going to therapy and having that type of rotation in your schedule. However, I have not been to therapy since March of 2020. We've been talking about you almost going to therapy for the last year and a half. Yeah. And I think I want to incorporate that and be more intentional with it. It's not that I don't think that they can't help, because I know that they can. I think it's more of I get so far with self reflection, and I know that if I were to speak to a therapist, it'd probably be a lot faster. But I do think that I set so much time to practice self awareness and where things trigger me, and I know the value in all of that, and I'm such an advocate for everything that triggers you. You know the answer. You know the answer deep, deep within yourself. And so maybe that's why I've put it off. But I do think it's time that I got back in there because I'm in a very different space in my. Life, and it's not like therapy would ever harm you, but, no, I know that sometimes it's a tool. It's 1000% another tool for you. What you've been doing lately is you were like, what's going to help me the most right now, and I think for you sometimes, is doing the longer process of really sitting with yourself and going on an unassisted journey. Almost like you want the challenge of having to figure it out and put the pieces together. And instead of having someone who's assisting you along the way, I feel like sometimes you like that struggle of having to really break it down yourself. Yeah, I think I like the journey. Okay. The word journey. Yeah, the challenge. So I could see that being a reason why. Yeah, I do think that I resonate with that. But again, I think I'm in a different version of myself in a very different space than I was three years ago. And I do think it's important to get back in there. So that's definitely something that I'm going to incorporate as far as my physical. I am so glad to finally be in a routine of working out and eating healthy. I a huge advocate for body mind. All of that, I think, correlates. So I think in those spaces, I'm doing really well. I've started to do meditations again, and this started this week. Practicing stillness is something that's super important to me, and I've done yoga classes, heated yoga a lot the past two weeks, because it's another form of stillness for me. Something I kind of just been thinking about lately is when we talk about different versions of ourselves. But I think a term I almost like more is just like a different awareness of yourself. It's like you change and based on your level of awareness of yourself, like, where you're at at that time, at least for me, I kind of like looking at it that way. It is a different version of yourself, but I like looking at it as, Are you growing? Are you retracting? And it's all different awarenesses of yourself. I guess. I don't know. I need to wrap my head around that one. I think it took understanding and a new level of awareness to be in this new version of myself. Does that make sense? So I guess they coexist. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Okay. The way you worded that was I like, was circulating very weirdly in my head. I'm like, what? Now I understand. I was arguing your point. Yeah. And I'm like arguing it. I was just saying, I like to use the term, I guess, awareness instead of version. Okay, for me. And see, for me it's the very. Opposite, because for me, I'm like, I'm still the same person that made all those decisions and did all those things and lived that life. To me, I'm the same exact person. I'm just. Oh, see, this is where me and you are very different, because I think I'm a very different person. But you're still Alina. And is what I'm saying where, like, I'm still still. I'm still Alina. Yes, but I'm a different version of whoever I was five years ago. I know. What I'm saying is that's still me. Because the reason I am who I am right now is because I was all of those versions of me. That 1000%. I agree. So that's why I'm saying that I'm at a new awareness. I know we're saying the same thing in different ways of getting there, but you get what I mean. Yeah, maybe. Sure. I like it. What I said that was funny. I'm like, what? Well, are there any thoughts or worries occupying my mind that I need to address or let go of? I feel like we kind of talked about that or almost answered that in the beginning without trying to when you started it off with the mind dump. But is that something you'd want to elaborate on more? Yes and no. Are there any thoughts or worries occupying my mind that I need to address or let go of? Yeah, I think for me, this whole turning 30 thing, I don't think that age has ever been the type of thing that limits me or stresses me out. I think it's a common theme here with a lot of people that you start to go into your thirty s and you think that you've either plateaued, hit a wall, whatever, you're not where you're supposed to be. And for a lot of people, I think it's relevant in relationships. I think for me, it's never relevant in relationships. It's actually relevant in my career, which is what I mentioned earlier. And I think that I need to let go of the idea that I have to be at a certain point, that I have to be at a certain point in my life by the time I turn 30 in two months. Do you still hold on to that? I don't know. It's not that I hold onto it, but it's definitely something that's crossed my mind a couple of times and I'm trying to understand why I feel like I'm supposed to put some type of pressure on me career wise. And I don't know, I think it's just outside noise. I don't think it's anything internally that I feel. I think it's all outside noise. Yeah. But still outside noise affects us. Yeah. Which is why I think that way. So I'm trying to let go of all of that outside noise that's influencing me to think that I need to be at a certain point in my life, career wise, in two months, when that's not necessarily true. Again, I think everything happens when it needs to happen. Yeah. And it's just reminding myself. Yeah, reminding yourself, like, that's not something I can control. This is where I am, this is where I'm going and staying focused on that. Yeah. And everyone's human, and we're silly to think that we'll never let outside noise creep in. It's always there, but it's just trying to stay aware of when, oh, these aren't my thoughts. This is somebody else's or society's thoughts that all of a sudden are in my head and my voice. But that's not the way I think. And it's like trying to stay on, acknowledging when you're letting an opinion that is not your own affect the way you think of yourself. And it's even more of a mind fuck because those things normally don't bother me. Like, I don't care about what other people think or anything like that. My journey is my journey, and I know that, but again, I'm a human being. It's going to happen at some point or another where I am influenced a little bit, and it's just a matter of having that mental dialogue of, like, no, you know that everything happens when it needs to happen, and this is my journey. It's my journey, and everyone's is different. There's no linear way of getting to where I want to go. Yeah. There's no pressure on the time either. No. And you're pursuing a career that you've always wanted to. I know I bring up my dad a lot, but he had a career and then he completely abandoned it. And he didn't start his career until he was, like, 32. Start in a basement closet, so there's no room. Don't let any outside opinions affect your grind. Yeah. So I think that's where. That's definitely my thing that I need. To let go of. Yeah. And just a reminder, too, as soon as we start putting our energy into where we think we're supposed to be. We're taking energy away from where we are right now and where we want to be. And it's just taking up room that is preventing us from being where we want to be when we focus so much on how we're not there right now. So if you're not there right now, you're not. Okay, now let's get back to working on getting there instead of just absorbing all this time thinking about how we're not. And why aren't we? Because I feel like we could come up with a million reasons why we are not where we wanted to be. And if you look back at it, we're not even where we wanted to be in terms of the podcast. And we can ask ourselves why all day. But when you look back at it, we made up a lot of excuses, we took a lot of time off. We let a lot of things get in our way. So we acknowledge that. We acknowledge where we're at now, and then that's that, and now we're not going to let that happen again. We're not going to continually focus on, oh, we're not here. And we thought we would be. It's so funny that you were saying that, because I think it was like two weeks ago where I had this thought of, I was looking at when our first episode was, and I was like, how the fuck has all this time gone by? I'm like, I can't even imagine where we would be right now if we kept going. And then I was like, stop. Just stop doing that. I had to literally stop myself from thinking those thoughts. I'm like, no, everything happens for a reason, and that break happened for a reason. There is a reason that the energy is different now and why we are going at it in a very different way. And I think it happened in the way that it was meant to happen. It's also important, though. I think that also brings me to think about anything that you've ever wanted to do in your life. But it's almost like we learn so much from our mistakes, but we fear so much making one or we feel failing that it stops us from doing anything. And I guarantee all of us at some point have sat with ourselves and be like, wow, if I actually started this or did this thing when I had the idea of doing it, I could have been like this person, or I could have been here in my career. Yet you still haven't started, you still haven't done anything. And then it's almost like a resentment like, why didn't I do that? Why didn't I do that? If you're feeling that way, first of all, put a stop to it and you can start now. And if you don't ever start, you're going to have those conversations with yourself, like, looking at where you could have been or what you could have been doing, but that's all you're ever going to think about if you don't do it. Yeah, it's easy to fall into that trap. So it's kind of like you have to take the risk in order to get the reward. Yeah, that's a trap so many people fall into. It's like that fear. Oh, my God. Yeah. Our first episode back, that's why we were like, we need to have that conversation just so people know where our headspace is at. It's like, think about a bird. When they hatch from a nest, they have no idea how to fly, and they just wake up one day and jump out of the nest and fall out. And then they climb back up and they jump out of the nest and they fall out. They climb back up, and sometimes it's the mom bird who just pushes them out of the nest and they grow plunked to the ground. But experience will teach you. Yeah, one day they fly, but they have no fear in falling 80 freaking hundred times because they know they're going to fly. I think it's reminding ourselves of, like, you're going to fly, and every time you fall and hit the ground, you do it again. And if you fall and hit the ground, you do it again without a second thought in your mind. You just keep falling on the damn ground until all of a sudden you're flying. Yes. Because you know you're going to. Yeah, but it's easy if you've fallen or failed ten times to be like, shoot, can I really do this? And then it's like that 11th time could have been the one time, and. Maybe it's the 1100 freaking time, but you just got to keep going. You really do. This is one I kind of like. Sorry, I'm biting my lip. What accomplishments or positive experiences you've had recently that you'd like to share? There's not necessarily anything I'd like to share with this, but this Is Something that my parents did because we kind of did Our check and chicken dinners. Growing up as, like, a Family, and I grew up in an Italian family. It's very loud. I'm a very loud person. I didn't always leave the floor for Gabby to talk she'd Just sit there quietly. And I like this question because I think everybody sometimes needs some acknowledgment or some praise. Oh, my God. I think we always need it. It's what keeps us going. I loved when my parents did that and individually asked us because my little sister would have gotten walked all over and she could have said something really. She always did something stupid. Like, I found a leaf at the park today. And we'd be like, oh, we'd have to give her some praise for what she needed praise for. But I think it's me. I'm sitting there, I'm like, a leaf. I found 30 leafs in the backyard today. Like, shutting it down. You're so rude. I know, but my dad's like, that's where she needs Praise. We need to give praise to the people that we love on their accomplishments. Everybody needs that sometimes. And it's like a push to keep going or like, it's inspiring. It is. I think that anytime. It's funny because when we started the podcast all over again, I had friends reaching out, saying that they heard the first episode back and that they really appreciated the vulnerability, that we sounded different and that to keep going. And I'm like, reading those text messages and those DMs of people supporting me and Taylor is one of the biggest reasons why we even do what we do. I'm like, it's again healing for everyone. And I think it's important to encourage people when they do start things, tell them that you've supported them or that you've listened or that to keep going, because that is literally fuel for them to keep creating. And I think that's beautiful. And I also think it's difficult to ask for praise sometimes, and maybe not for everyone, but sometimes we want to be acknowledged for something. And it's okay to ask for a moment where you're like, hey, I'm really proud that I did this, and I'd. Really like you to acknowledge, honestly, I think that needs to be normalized. There is nothing wrong with being proud of what it is that you've created or your achievement and wanting someone to acknowledge, yeah, we should take the time to do all those things. So I just wanted to add, I like that you said that in there. I really like that you said that. And then one other leg off of that is to like, I think that something that I could be more intentional about too, is to give praise where it's due or give credit where credit is due, where I think because I move in my life is like there are certain things I do every day, and I don't expect thanks. I don't expect to be rewarded from them. It's just like, these things need to get done, and I'm going to do them. And it's like doing all the laundry and doing the dishes, cleaning the counters, making, like, doing all these things. But then if I have my sister come over or if Zach's here and he cleans up the entire kitchen, for me, being more intentional about acknowledging when somebody does something for you, you are. Pretty good at it. I remember the couple of times that I've come in here and I've picked up all of Amanda's toys off the ground. You're like, oh, my God, thank you so much for doing that. And I'm like, well, I'm going to try and help you wherever it is that I can. Yeah, okay, well, then you do do it. Yeah. I think there's also shock. You might not be aware of it, though. Maybe you're probably shocked. You're like, what the hell? Well, because I also have that thing in my head where I'm like, wow, I wish I had help, but I'm not going to ask. And if someone could read my mind. So when I come downstairs and sometHing's done, I'm like, oh, wow. Yeah. Okay, good, then. But maybe show some more affection to Zach because he's probably doing all these things and you didn't even realize maybe that's what you're talking about. Yeah, I know with me, you do do it. I think because it's like he's here more time now that it's like, do I have to say? I think I'm not a very emotional thank you, I love you person that it's like, do I have to, I don't know, be that way every time someone does something? And it's not like that, but that's where my head goes. It's funny because I'm the opposite of you. What do you mean? I think it's important to say thank you. I appreciate you. But that's also, like, a love language for me. So maybe that's why I think it's important. But it's like, but you're saying that. You don't think you need to do it all the time. And I'm like, no, I want to. Do it every time I think I do, but I think I don't realize because I'm kind of like a bulldozer where I'm just like. And then all of a sudden, a couple of days will go by and I'll be like, oh, well, I saw that he did this and that and that. Yeah. But I don't know. That's so interesting. I'm not a big words of affirmation person. Oh, my God. For me, it's like, what is your love language? I like quality time. I think it's quality time. Acts of service. I think touch is a big one, but it's touch for me, I think people are like, what do you mean? Because I hate being touched. For me, it's a big thing because when I do touch, when I want that, it's very meaningful. Okay. Where I'm not like one of those touchy people, but it's like there's a lot of meaning in when I want to be close. But I think quality time, acts of service. But I guess words of affirmation isn't me in the sense where I'm always like, for me, when I love someone or when I'm appreciative, or when I'm thankful that they're in my life, or I'm like, I move differently when I really care about someone than when I don't. And to me, I'm like, what do you mean? You need to hear it. How the hell do you not knOw? Isn't it obvious? That's kind of, I think, what goes through my head sometimes. Well, that kind of makes sense to why you're not like a words of affirmation person, because it's hard for you to even communicate your own feelings sometimes. So you do it through actions, and then you're like, what do you mean? You need me to say it? Do you not see everything that I've done by acts of service? I'm never going to ask you to go pick up my kids toys. Yeah, but you're going to appreciate it. So much when someone does it. Yes. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. And then it's also like it goes the other way, where I feel like when someone compliments you a lot or gives thanks a lot, it's suddenly something in my head is like, that's who got you think. It's not genuine. It's insincere. Yeah. Are you really thankful again? Are you that thankful? You're a psychopath. I know. What is a rough, I don't know, but when someone just all of a sudden is just, like, complimenting you, I'm like, thanks, but I don't know. Too much words of affirmation makes me feel like it's forgotten. It gives her the ick. Clearly. And it's not always like that, but I think it's also because I'm not a warm and fuzzy talker where I'm kind of more blunt with things that when. I mean, I'm like that. Yeah, I know, but I love words of affirmation. No, I know, but I'm saying for me, I think maybe that's why I'm like, I don't know. I think it's dependent on the person with you. Yeah, she's really annoying and warm and fuzzy with me, and I'm just like, stop. Yeah. And I'm at a place with my sister, and I'm at that place with Zach now, but I was at the other place with Zach before where I wasn't there yet, so I'd be like, ew, what's happening? You're welcome. But now it's like, I don't know. It's different. I think it's definitely dependent on the person. I think it's how. Yes, to a level of how much I care about that person. But it's also a level of how understood I feel by that person where if there's that deeper level of understanding I feel like I've got from that person, like, oh, they see me and they don't give a shit. Then it's like I'm more googly. Yeah. My brain is going to start to spiral into, like, a hole about that one. Yeah, you're funny, Taylor. You're just one of a kind. I don't know. Maybe it's attached into vulnerability. Who knows? Anyway, there was a question, and I contemplated bringing it up a few times because I'm just like, it's so hard to answer because there's so many things that I would say, okay, but it's, what one piece of advice would you give to a child, to you as a child, or to your child? We love some inner child healing. I'm like, it's so hard to pick one piece because it's like. And I think the advice, I have multiple pieces of advice I'd give to a child, but if I'm thinking about me as a little kid, I might change that if I was like, choose more differently than if I needed to pick one general piece. Ew. What? What are you thinking? Why'd you say ew? I don't know. Ew, my God, what is my problem? Are you crushed up that you're emotional mother fuck? Oh, shit. All of a sudden you had the I'm about to cry smile. I don't want to talk about it? But I wasn't looking at you. And then I looked up and I was like, oh, my God. What are you thinking? It's so weird. I was just thinking about this the other day, actually. How do I see this? It's funny because I was listening to the Jada Pickett Smith and Jay Shetty interview, and something she said about her abandonment wound kind of triggered me to think about that inner child question that you just asked. And I think it has to do with me reminding myself or my inner child that you're worthy of someone valuing you and staying in your life. Because that just is a common theme for me of the abandonment wound. And it was weird because I thought about my. I don't even know how to phrase that appropriately. Yeah, it made me think of that and how that was like a conscious choice that she was making of essentially leaving. I've never seen you, me, and my brother every emotional. I feel like in a span of an hour, I saw you heartbroken, and then I saw rage and anger, and then I saw, like, you just turned it off. Yeah, it was the weirdest thing when I listened to that interview, but it really triggered something. And right now, when you're talking about the inner child and what would you say to your younger self? It's just literally reminding myself of you're worthy of being loved and valued. And it got me to start thinking of, is this the reason why I chose to have multiple partners when I was going through that phase, which is like a whole nother tangent that we could go into. Give me goosebumps. Yeah, it's like, was I in a phase of thinking that I wasn't lovable or valuable for one person or, like, you feared that they were just going to leave anyway. Yeah. It's the weirdest and the wildest thing when you hear something and then it brings up all these different avenues of healing. I was not expecting for that to happen. That was so strange. Yeah, I guess, too. Maybe a good reminder is that people will leave you, even people you love. But not everyone will leave you. Yeah. And that's a part of it. There are people who love you who will never leave. And maybe don't let the fear of losing someone keep you from having someone. Yeah, no, it's just reminding yourself to remain open because, I mean, it is true. It's a natural part of life for people to come and go, but that doesn't mean that you should close yourself off to other relationships or friendships or whatever the case may be. But definitely for me, it was reminding myself that you are valuable and lovable and worthy of all the things that you want. Yeah, I like that advice. I was not expecting that. I didn't know I would be taking you to that place. Neither did I. But I'm glad I did. Honestly, though, it's good. I'm glad you did take me there because it just made me rethink about all the stuff that I was circulating in my head yesterday. And it came full circle. The tree scared me good. Yeah. I think if I had to, maybe thinking of myself, if as a chIld, I'd remind myself I was like taking notes. I'm like, of all the things in generally speaking that I'd want to say, but I guess I'd say that life. Isn'T supposed to be painless. So it's going to hurt and there's going to be broken bones and broken hearts and broken dreams and broken promises. But I guess I would say you don't have to be strong all of the time, but never change yourself in an attempt to not appear weak or in an attempt to make you stronger, really emphasize that it's okay not to be strong and to not have the answers for everything or not to figure it all out by yourself. That's what I'd say. Like that. That makes sense for you. Yours makes sense for you, too. Otherwise we'll be dealing with it in therapy 28 years later. Stunning. Okay, so we're going with gratitude as our close out. Yes. We're going to finish you guys off. With a happy note. Yeah. Okay, so give me one thing that you're grateful for and why. Okay, well, if you give me one, I'm always going to say Amadeo. So excluding Amadeo, I'm going to say that I'm grateful for silence. Because in the last week, two weeks, everything's been really loud. I've had people in my house, children's birthday parties, actual family birthday, hosting people, office. That's loud. I haven't really had a moment of silence. And I love my time alone and quiet. And I feel like today was my first day that I was able to have an hour or two of quiet in my home. And I value my alone time and my quiet time very much. So I'd say I'm grateful for that today. I mean, that makes sense. I love that for you. I'm glad you got that today. Keep them delicious. All right, you guys. Well, hopefully this helps. This was a therapeutic episode. It really was. I quite enjoyed it. I needed. Me too. My nausea's gone. Love all y'all. Okay. All right. Stay tuned for the next episode. This week, this is Taylor. This is Alina, and this is. Shit just got real.